Results

Date	Time	Pregnancy	HCG Levels	Progesterone Levels	Doubling Time
11/22/20010	11 am	3w 4d (11dpo)	38 mIU	20.69	-
11/24/20010	10 am	3w 6d (13dpo)	129 mIU	-	26.65 hours
11/26/20010	10 am	4w 1d (15dpo)	209 mIU	-	68.95 hours
11/29/20010	9 am	4w 4d (18dpo)	482 mIU	17.53	58.90 hours

I'm a little hopeful but still nervous. Unfortunately I have to wait for Tricare to update before I can get into the ob/gyn.

Already worried

Date	Pregnancy	HCG Levels	Progesterone Levels	Doubling Time
11/22/20010	3w 4d (11dpo)	38 mIU	20.69	-
11/24/20010	3w 6d (13dpo)	129 mIU	-	26.65 hours
11/26/20010	4w 1d (15dpo)	209 mIU	-	68.95 hours

I know under 72 hours of a doubling time is normal in some circumstances, but I don't know how to keep hopeful. I was thinking it'd be a ton better then that!! I guess it was a let down. I was expecting to hear a great number, was going to go switch to tricare standard, and see my ob/gyn Dr. Q for pregnancy then. Instead I wonder if I should stick to tricare prime, deal with the navy ob/gyn and tolerate the horrible things I heard the last two times I miscarried. Honestly? I might just switch to standard to talk to Dr. Q about it all. In fact after discussing pros and cons with my mother, when my son goes to preschool today I'm heading to tricare and changing it. No matter what I wanted to go standard eventually. If I miscarry at least she'll handle it nicer and try harder for me, which is more then I could ask from the Navy doctors and nurses. I'm trying to keep my head up. I decided to go in for my blood work today instead of tomorrow, sure the nurse practitioner who wrote me the lab sheet might be annoyed, but it's not her body. Hopefully tomorrow brings better news.

Always an infertile

I think no matter what when we've experienced miscarriages and/or infertility we're always an infertile no matter what happens in life. Whether we found out we're barely pregnant or have had a child after infertility. We're always an infertile it seems.

I know it's hard for me to look at someone else and see their beautiful round belly, knowing they're very much pregnant and not be overcome with jealousy. It's hard to get past that. I guess it would be easier for us if they told us "We had to use IVF" or "we tried for 5 years", but when we glance at someone we don't know and see their belly all we see is the green eyed monster.

When it comes to people in our infertility circle I think it's easier to be truly happy for them. I'm not saying we aren't jealous of those who announce pregnancies - but at least we're happy to see a graduate.

I fear if I post here about my pregnancy updates I'll lose friends or that I'll upset others. I know it's bound to happen. I would love to post about pregnancy on my other blog, but I don't feel comfortable doing that. When I was pregnant last time I posted on the other blog - and as you know it turned out horrible. I don't feel comfortable talking about pregnancy when I fear that something will happen again. I have recurrent pregnancy loss and I feel more comfortable talking about this here.

I hope I don't lose any of my TTC friends. I know it sucks that others are struggling and getting BFN's, trust me I'm feeling pain for you and really want it to happen for you. Whether it's naturally, IUI, IVF, FET, or adoption.. I truly want to see your happiness and I pray you find it soon. I know it's hard to think about the future as anything but BFN's and miscarriages, but hope you can keep a positive mind that your future will be different. *hugs*

Blood work update!

Date	Pregnancy	HCG Levels	Progesterone Levels	Doubling Time
11/22/20010	3 wks 4 days (11dpo)	38 mIU	20.69	-
11/24/20010	3 wks 6 days (13dpo)	129 mIU	-	26.65 hours

I was so excited to hear those results. My beta has never been this good off the bat, so I'm a little more hopeful this time around. I admit I'll always be nervous, but this is going the way I was hoping! Got my beta drawn today and get another one on Tuesday. Hoping for more good news!

Results are in for 11 dpo

Date	Pregnancy	HCG Levels	Progesterone Levels
11/22/20010	3 wks 4 days (11dpo)	38 mIU	20.69

Eventually I'll update it more, once I get results (today's results will be on Friday, the rest will be the day after the draw is taken). I got another beta drawn done today, then another one Friday, and one Tuesday (with a progesterone draw that day as well). I'm rather surprised my progesterone went from 7.48 on 7 dpo to 20.69 on 11 dpo. I'm still taking progesterone no matter what. There's no way I'll stop it until 13 weeks, like the ob/gyn told me to.

I'm kind of confident this time. I guess because my 11 dpo was 38 and last time on 12 dpo it was 24. I know the doubling time matters most, but it was nice to see a high number earlier. Hopefully I see a great doubling time. If this week's blood work goes smoothly I'll be switching my insurance so I can get Dr. Q.

Oh the joys of snow!!

I love snow. At least taking pictures of snow, and sometimes freezing my butt of playing in snow. I took some photos yesterday.. not sure any turned out great, but I did have a blast taking them. I also took some photos today of my son and husband playing in the snow and I'll add a few of them here. It was fun - I tried to take action shots of them throwing snow at each other and at me. I still have to go through them, but even if they don't rate an A+ on photography, they're still awesome.

This post isn't all about the joys of snow... that was just sarcasm!! Yesterday I went in for my beta and progesterone draw. Now it was snowing yesterday, but wasn't extreme when I was out and about around noon. However today was horrible. The snow had ended, but the aftermath of it was there. Here in Washington no one knows how to drive in the snow. It wasn't even that much! Today we saw at least 10-15 cars abandoned on the side of the roads. And found out most medical buildings were closed.. that included my doctor's office and the place I got my blood drawn from. So I didn't get to find out my results!!

So first thing tomorrow I'm going out to get my blood drawn for beta #2 and asking the lab for my results. Fingers crossed. I'm not as concerned with the results from the first beta, more concerned with this next one and any future ones. It doesn't matter where you start in HCG as long as it doubles - so I'm nervous. Hopefully this week goes by without any more issues.

At least the ob/gyn did prescribe me prometrium, which is great! She gave me 3 months and I'm so thankful she did. My next plan is to go on Tricare Standard. Possibly next week if I feel the betas are going smoothly. If they are great numbers and doubling how they need to, I will switch insurances so I can get Dr. Q as my own ob/gyn. If they don't double right.. well, I'm not sure. I hate how the Navy hospital treated my miscarriages. Hopefully the betas are great.

Now on to some photos:

Conflicting emotions...

I always kidded with Dr. Q she was my good luck - the first time I talked to her about what I should do next with TTC I found out I was pregnant 7 days later. So I kidded her this time when I saw her she may have gotten me pregnant this cycle (since we talked about going on femera next).

Well, you can imagine my shock when I saw:









Yes, I'm a pee addict. The first one I took was the cheap wondfo, which I wanted some definitive results. Hence, the other tests. I'm shocked, but nervous as can be. My progesterone was *7.48* on 7 dpo, three days ago. I know I need progesterone and the only one who can prescribe it is my primary doctor right now, which is not normally what they deal with. I'm not sure they'd even want to prescribe it to me. My insurance only allows me to go to the Navy doctors (unless I go standard) and the Navy doctors refuse to do progesterone draws and progesterone supplements. They don't believe low progesterone cause miscarriages. Either way I'm sacrificing some money soon to go to standard. I refuse to see the ob/gyns at the Navy hospital. I'm scared of a miscarriage, but the ob/gyns and nurses were horrible there.

So either I beg my primary doctor for supplements, or quickly go standard and call Dr. Q for supplements. I'm not sure. I'm happy, but scared. I just don't feel pregnant this round... I'm not experiencing anything like I normally do. Kind of nerve-wracking. Hard to feel excited when you're so nervous!!