You know you're a TTC addict...

Make no mistake I'm trying not to poke fun at people who have done this, considering this list is things I have done myself... so if you haven't done these then feel free to laugh at me.

1. Having over 30 pregnancy tests at one point in time. Do you really need 30 tests for the job? Well, you do if you want to test early and keep testing until you either see your BFP or the evil wench shows up each cycle! Even more addicted when they are 3 or more different brands. "Well this one detects 20 HcG, this one is just cheap, and this one will flash a big sign at you saying 'YOU ARE PREGNANT, STOP TESTING!'" Yes... I have done this.


2. You test early - we're talking at 5 dpo. I mean, seriously, what did you expect to see? A blaring positive pregnancy test? Every where you have read says implantation doesn't occur until typically 7-10dpo so what makes you think you'd see it this early on? Oh yeah, those lucky gals on the TTC boards who said they found out that early! I mean do they really know their ovulation date correctly? This addiction also includes eagle eyes - you swear you see lines on them as well! And yes, that would my pregnancy test from today, 5dpo.


3. You inspect your toilet paper every time you wipe. That or check your cervix for signs of spotting. Is there anything you see? Is that spotting - and if so, what color? Red? Light pink? Could it be implantation? Aunt flow? You honestly don't know, but analyzing your toilet paper has become a hobby to you. Sometimes it doesn't even matter if you're only a few days past ovulation... don't worry we won't judge. Secretly we have done the same.

4. You spend hours on the computer looking up symptoms to see if they're related to being pregnancy. Sore breasts? Cramps in the abdomen? Sensitive to smells? Nauseous? Let's face it - the sore breasts are because our husband isn't gentle in the bed, those cramps are our impending period, and we're nauseous because our husband's current choice of recipe is both overpowering and highly upsetting on taste. Or is it the reason...? Too bad we don't have a chocolate computer like this one so if we don't like the answers or have our period we could just take a chunk out of it. (If you want one I found it at Temptations fine chocolates). LOL.

5. You belong to Countdowntopregnancy.com Yes, in addition to looking up symptoms is now you found yourself a home on this website, recording every single thing your body does. This website can make you a little obsessive as every twinge and odd thing in your body they look at like it's pregnancy related! Who knew soreness in your muscles could mean pregnancy, instead of that you just went to the gym. I mean, check this website out - people have recorded 1dpo having a lot of signs and symptoms. If only we knew 1 dpo that we were pregnant! Honestly, I joined up with this site and found it upsetting when I had ALL of their symptoms and wasn't pregnant. But for amusements sake... maybe I should go back...

I know I haven't been here...

It's been quite some time since I have posted. My husband went on the submarine September 30th so there wasn't any TTC for quite some time, but now I'm back. Ever since my miscarriage my cycles have been different each round. This cycle I was on CD 26 before I finally ovulated (normal can be anywhere from CD 20 to CD 25), but I hardly had any EWCM - just one or two days but the rest was creamy. Normally I get 5-7 days of EWCM so this one I worry will be a bust just because the lack of quality CM. I have two temps over cover-line to confirm ovulation but I worry since my temps have been closer to coverline then normal. Infact, my temps haven't been the same since the miscarriage. Moving forward though...

We BD'd quite often this round, considering he just got home in the beginning of December so of course our hormones are a little overkill. It's been fun, however, since we haven't thought 100% of just babymaking but also of just having ourselves pleased with eachother. In time I know pregnancy will come - even though I'm emotional about it all still.

I never did update... about two months after I told my sister-in-law about my miscarriage in an E-mail she E-mailed every one announcing she was 3 months pregnant, which is where I would have been at that time. That has sent me on and off into an emotional down over these past few months. On Christmas my husband called his brother and of course I could tell where the conversation led to... I was depressed to find out they know the gender of their baby now. It made all my emotions come back to surface when I realized they knew their gender - why couldn't I be there, in the same situation.. finding out the gender of my baby instead of waiting to ovulate? It's hard sometimes.

In time the wounds will heal. I guess it's harder when she had two children under 2 and pregnant again and here I am... having an almost 4 year old son I can't seem to bless with a sibling. I'm so grateful every day for the son I have, but I don't want him to grow up wishing he could have a brother or sister to talk to and spend time with.