Tomorrow

Tomorrow is my birthday, it also is the day I will be going to a doctor to talk about my miscarriage. We'll be doing blood work in the morning and that is all I really know. I already know the blood work will be close to zero since I got a very faint positive on a pregnancy test today. It's going in the right direction. As I was looking for answers to WHY this happened I came across:

Excess weight does not contribute to a miscarriage; however, PCOS, which is common in overweight women, does create a higher statistical chance of pregnancy loss than in the general population. The reason is related to hormone imbalance. Both elevated LH and testosterone are linked to miscarriage, as is insulin resistance.

Wouldn't you know most of those issues I have? I have been diagnosed with PCOS, I have insulin resistance and last I checked my testosterone was a little higher than normal. It says treatments are available to help - but I've declined spironolactone and metformin because of how I feel on them. I focused on losing weight and lost 40 pounds since I was last tested and I know weight loss can help those issues. I guess I'm wondering did I do something wrong to cause this? I know I probably didn't, but I guess it will be something I bring up with the ob/gyn tomorrow. I'm hoping they'll do more, I just really wish they believed in testing progresterone levels.

I've been looking back on my TTC blog I had the first time I was trying for a child. I was so focused on losing weight afterward that I lost 20 pounds between my miscarriage and finding out I was pregnant again four months later. That's what I'm aiming for - losing weight again. Granted I still cannot seem to find the strength in me to start, but I will dig it up. I got a recipe book from the biggest loser and it has a few meals I'm willing to try out in there. It sucks to start over, but I know I need to do this for me. So for the next few months my discussions might be focused more on weight loss since my DH will be out on a submarine until December, when we will start to TTC again.

Honestly though... isn't it good to focus on your health along with TTC? I do believe so. I miss how I felt when I weighed less, it's time to go back!