The time has come

As much as I hate leaving this blog behind, the time has come to make a new blog. Life after infertility, kind of odd saying that.. isn't it? But infertility will never leave me. I dealt with it 2 1/2 years before we had our first son, then 3 1/2 years before we conceived our second son. Will I be back here? Who knows. I know eventually we'll try for another child, but for now life with our 2 sons is all we need.

It's hard to leave behind a blog you've had for years, but I feel like every one who signed up for my blog was signed up to it due to it being an infertility blog. Is it fair to those struggling to be following a blog that no longer is about infertility? I know some people actually love it, because it means people are being blessed and leaving the infertile life behind them.. but there's always a large portion who it hurts because it's a reminder. A reminder of what a lot of us long for, struggle for, and try so hard to achieve. In no way do I want my blog to be a reminder of someone's pain.

So if you want to follow me, check me out at the link below:
The good stuff

Retiring?

When I had my son I retired this blog until I started TTC again and was dealing with infertility... I'm not sure if I should do that again. I know it's hard to read people's baby updates sometimes, especially when the blog was meant to be infertility related and that's why it was followed. I have around 35 followers... truthfully not sure how many people read my blog any more or just skip over it. Either way, I still am thinking of those others and wondering if I should start a new blog. Most likely in the future I will. I have another blog I used to post back years ago on, perhaps I'll consider going back to that one if I don't make a new blog. Either way I'll post a link when I do make my decision.

The birth story

I know I'm 3 weeks late, but I've been trying to recuperate from the birth. That and recalling every thing that happened that night is honestly a chore, it was what I'd consider a long (and painful) experience, but worth it all in the end.

On July 27th I had my ob/gyn appointment, I was 3 cm dilated, 50% effaced and still -2 station. She said my cervix was soft and felt it would be a very opportune time to strip my membranes early because Daniel was measuring big the whole pregnancy and she guessed he'd be at least 9 pounds full term. While most measurements are off 1-2 pounds, I felt there was no harm in stripping my membranes. If it started labor then so be it! For the next three days I had a continuous bloody show and lost globs of mucus plug. Sorry for too much information there! I also experienced off and on contractions, but nothing active. I'd say most days I had around 5-10 contractions.

On July 30th my mother came to visit, so she could be there taking care of my oldest son while I was in labor. She arrived around 4 pm that after noon. 5:30 pm I noticed active contractions, happening every 5-10 minutes and a couple hours later they were roughly every 2-6 minutes. Depending on if I was sitting or walking they were not always very consistent. The contractions were not that bad, so I did not mind them but near the end they increased in intensity. Still I was able to laugh through them. My mother joked with me if I thought I was in labor and I responded I probably was, but refused to go to the hospital until I needed to push or my water bag popped.

I kept telling my husband that night he should head to bed because it probably was going to be a long night. At 10:40 pm he decided he would get ready for bed and start brushing his teeth. Around 10:45 I told my mother she needed to get his attention and get him out because my water bag had broke. So it was off to the hospital for us. Every one assumed labor would be so quick so I shouldn't labor at home at that point, since the only thing that seemed to hold me back with my first delivery was that my water bag didn't pop.

The nurses didn't want to check me often because of possible risk of infection, just wanted to play it by ear. Unfortunately the contractions were every 2-3 minutes and very intense. They hurt so badly and I decided around 1 am to go for the epidural. I had always planned to go natural, but I was experiencing so much pain no matter what I did it wouldn't make it better. They decided since I was getting an epidural to check how dilated I was... -2 station and 4cm. I was disappointed to find out I hadn't dilated much. Only 4cm after all I had been through. I cannot remember the exact time I was given the epidural, I think it may have been 1:30 am by that point. They had to do the epidural twice and warned me due to the situation I'd possibly be one of the 1 out of 100 people to get an epidural headache.

Soon after the epidural I noticed I was completely numbed up to my chest, which caused me to feel like I could not breathe. It definitely wasn't a fun situation. They wound up waiting on giving me continuous medicine and told me in 1 1/2 hours that I would start feeling contractions again and then they would see about giving me more. So 1 1/2 hours later (roughly 3 am) I noticed the contractions were in full swing again, quite painful. I had spot numbness, parts of me including my chest were very numb still. So they slowly and cautiously gave me more medicine until I couldn't feel pain again. They also checked me and I was only 5-6 cm by that point and still -2 station. Between this ordeal my blood pressure plummeted to roughly 85/55 so I wound up getting an Epinephrine shot. They took out my catheter because I was feeling so much pressure in my bladder it felt like I needed to pee.

Shortly after there had been some issues with Daniel going into fetal distress so they wound up putting the heart rate monitor internally and when he still showed signs of distress they put the contraction monitor internally as well. Around 5 am I was 6-7 cm and unfortunately he was still showing some signs of distress so I wound up with oxygen and they actually pumped fluids up there to substitute amniotic fluid. After they did that things were much smoother with him and there was no other worries with him.

At 6:30 am I was feeling a ton of pressure both in my bladder and my bowels. They wound up giving me another catheter at this point to hopefully relieve some pressure I was feeling. I was 8 cm by this point and he was roughly 0 station.

Pressure was getting worse by 8 am, to the point my body was actually pushing on it's own and I could not stop it! It was getting very intense so they checked me again. I was still 8 cm dilated, no progress! I felt really defeated by this point. I was trying hard to rest and hope it would be over soon since my body refused to lighten up. After a long 1 1/2 hours, I was checked at 9:30 am. Was finally 10 cm and ready to push! Thank heavens too because by that point I was feeling even more pressure and was having a hard time not pushing on my own.

It didn't take long for my ob/gyn to arrive in my room and quickly I was pushing. It was rough and they had me push really hard back to back. 15 minutes or so of pushing Daniel made his entrance into the world!! July 31st (39w3d) at 9:54 am. He was 9 pounds even, 22 inches long. Average sized heads of newborns are 35cm and his was 37cm! His apgar score was 8,9.

Truthfully my recovery has been a long one. Since I want to keep this as his birth story, I will post it later!

Introducing....

Name: Daniel Robert W.
Birth date: July 31st, 2011
Time: 9:54 am
Weight: 9 pounds
Height: 22 inches


Birth Story to eventually follow... once I can recall all the activity of that night, and after I catch up on enough sleep to focus longer! You gals who have had children and are blogging weekly amaze me!

29 weeks update

It's been quite some time since I've been here. Truthfully part of it is because I feel a little guilty posting updates here when there's so many people struggling to conceive. I get how hard it is to see my blog posts at the same time, I've been in others shoes. On the other side I get hurt because I cannot mention anything without feeling bad. I actually was hurt when someone on twitter announced the pregnancy updates from every one was overwhelming and they would be no longer following them. I was one of those people who was unfollowed. It made me feel like when you get pregnancy you no longer need the support you did when you were infertile. Can I consider myself fertile? Well, no... I struggled with my 5 year old son 2 1/2 years and one miscarriage to conceive. This one I struggled 3 1/2 years and 2 more miscarriages.

Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I haven't needed support. Every one who has been in my shoes or any one else's knows it's hard to not worry for the baby growing inside you. It's hard. I wish infertility and pregnancy loss never had to exist. I wish it was a ton easier on every one.. but then perhaps there would be less people out there who appreciated what the gift they were receiving.

Any way... an update:

How Far Along: 29 weeks

How Big is The Baby: At our 26 1/2 week ultrasound he actually was roughly 2 1/2 pounds already. So I'm guessing roughly 3 pounds+ now? My fundal measurement was 34 cm!! And no, the big baby isn't a result of GD (I passed!!)

Total Weight Gain: I believe I hit 15 pounds now.

Maternity Clothes: Definitely, caved in and bought more last week. Got some shorts and capris!!

Sleep: Decent. I mean I still wake up in the night a lot, but I'm sleeping even if I don't feel like I get enough.

GENDER: Boy!

Movement: A ton of movement. He's all over the place!! DH finds it funny - he'll stick his ear on my belly and it's like ESP because a few seconds later the baby locates him and hits/kicks his ear.

Food Cravings: Sweets mainly. Chinese food too. If only I got my way!!

What I Miss: I kind of miss not having to be so picky on what I eat, since the nausea hasn't gone away at all.

What I'm looking forward to: Getting the baby room cleaned out hopefully soon!! It's still being used to make the 2nd DVD holder he's working on!!

Milestones: It was a great milestone when we hit viability. Now it's great to be officially in the 3rd trimester.

Symptoms: Exhaustion, food aversions, nausea. Same deal, different day :) Oh we added acid reflux to the list as well. Back and hip pain (since about 14 weeks) as well.

If any one wants to have a guess on baby stats, I have a page up for fun:

I'm a failure

I thought I'd do better with ICLW and commenting on others blogs, but I just couldn't keep up. This weekend has been busy, we tried getting some of the front grass removed. Didn't do as much as I hoped for , but we keep getting rained and trust me rain makes dirt/grass much heavier and harder to deal with. I'm hoping next weekend looks nicer, but the weather report says it'll be rain like normal. That's what we get for living in Washington, isn't it?

Otherwise it's been trying to do household things. We have so much to accomplish. It didn't help that my husband accidentally cut his thumb on the router two days ago. No hospital visit, but he sure mauled his finger nicely. Found out pregnancy and mauled finger makes me a little faint and squeamish, go figure.

The last few days I've felt horrible. I think I need to work on a few things this pregnancy, both eating better and drinking more water to start. I'm starting to get dizzy and faint feeling more often and it's made it harder for me to function. It's definitely made things a challenge, that's for sure. Hard to be in the mood to do much of anything when you feel like crap. I'm still trying to push past it, get things done... but I'm definitely slower then I wish I was.

As for the baby room? As you can imagine no update there. I have to start buying a few things soon as well! Lots of items to get since I got rid of majority since it seemed like I wasn't ever going to need to use them. Thankfully we have our dresser and crib left over. Too bad that's not all we need! It'll get done, that's for sure. I'm only 21 weeks so we still have time.

I hope every one is doing well!

The never ending to-do list

You got to love to-do lists, right? Normally the to-do list sucks when you look at it, but more and more as it gets accomplished it feels so good. But what if it seems to be never ending? That feels like our story lately. As you can imagine it makes it hard to get done.

Currently our future son's nursery room is our computer room. We've managed to fill the room full of things (3 computers & desks, DH's tools and my crafts) so that in itself is a lot of stuff to move. We were going to stick the computers in our "exercise room" so as you can imagine we have a nice little shuffle that needs to happen. Currently my husband has been using his hands and working on a building a big CD holder so when we shift to the other room we have a place to put CD's on a wall, away from any child's reach. It'll be nice, but my husband works from 2 pm-11 pm so there's not much time to get it done unless it's a weekend.

I wish I could say that is it! It's Spring time and we planned to do some landscaping work - tear up the grass in the front yard, lay down fabric and bark so we no longer have to deal with the frustrations of mowing up there. Wanted things to be a little less maintenance as you can imagine. We also need to start planting our seeds for peas, carrots, cantaloupe, etc. I could do *some* it on my own, but lately I'm still fighting to have the energy necessary to get things done. Doesn't mean I won't be trying to get some work done today though! It will be good for me to get out, it's a beautiful sunny day outside (Mid-50's so not too hot) and I know Andrew would love to get out as well since today is his day off of school. Get in some natural vitamin D.

And of course Spring brings out Spring cleaning! Every year I donate items to Goodwill however I still feel like we have too much in our house. I'm pretty certain our junk is reproducing!! So that's on the list of things to do - I already have 2 donation piles and that will get bigger here soon.

What's on your to-do list lately, or have you already gotten yours accomplished?

Welcome ICLW

Welcome to every one who visits from ICLW!! My name is Krystal, I've been married 9 years, have one son who is five years old (conceived after 2 1/2 years and one miscarriage). I'm 20 1/2 weeks pregnant after trying 3 1/2 years and having 2 miscarriages. My husband is shore duty in the Navy, which has been much nicer on the stress as you can imagine.

I love crafts and designing things, but I don't get much time for it as you can imagine. Life keeps me busy, but I wouldn't have it any other way. My favorite thing overall is photography, I absolutely love photography. I keep questioning how easy it will be to have a 2 month old and 5 year old and go to balloon races but since it's 4 hours away I know it won't happen. Perhaps another year, right? :)

Unfortunately I haven't been blogging much because it's been a bad week. The beginning of last week my computer was having a fit so after many many hours getting things off my computer I finally got it reformatted and back up running. I thought that would be the worst thing that happened that week, until Wednesday the 16th, hit and in the evening my husband and I realized our cat Boots has passed away. I'm still not handling it well either, he was our best snuggler and always acted like a baby. We have his mama Jasmine, found her when she was abandoned in the Navy and pregnant. So we've had him since day 1, March 29th he would've been 9 years old. It's hard losing my furbaby, no less without warning. Took us off guard.

I think that's all to say. I hope you all have an enjoyable ICLW!! Not sure how many I'll see this week, but thanks to all those who visit and take time to comment.

I love crafts

My mother has always been creative and loves crafts. The biggest thing she does is crochet, even when she had surgery on a few of her fingers she had the urge to crochet the same day (didn't though, wouldn't be too good to abuse her fingers right after surgery).

I've always loved crafts and artsy stuff - my biggest is photography, but I do love a lot of other crafts. However... I'm the world's biggest procrastinator. I've bought wire jewelry books and supplies, hardly ever touch them or try. I've gotten yarn and they only get used up when my mother visits and takes them off my hands and crochets us a blanket (you can imagine we have a few!) I was working on a quilt for Aldon - a tigger blanket. Never finished it and it's been 5 years!! I also have bisque ornaments, probably 20 of them all are half finished.

I'm kind of having the urge to do some crafts. Honestly I feel like making baby hats - go figure, right? But after seeing some very cute hats (like the monkey hat) I really want to see if I can follow the pattern and make them. Kind of a challenge when I only know so much about crocheting on my own, but I think it'd be fun. It'd be a change of pace. So I vow that in the next week or two I will update about what I've done!! Just got to get me a nice color brown yarn to start :)

18 weeks

I have to first admit - I'm always shy showing off pictures of me. I'm a little self conscious that I was plump before I got pregnant. But this is who I am!! I've vowed after I have the child I will focus on losing weight and getting healthier. I'm trying to start now, but it's hard when I'm still getting over food aversions.

How Far Along: 18 weeks

How Big is The Baby: Baby is the length of a bell pepper (Length: 5 1/2 inches, head to bottom.)

Total Weight Gain: Ummm... around 6 pounds, give or take a pound.

Maternity Clothes: Switched this past week, had to cave in and buy me some maternity pants.

Sleep: Still feel like I'm not getting enough, but I'm used to that.

GENDER: Finding out in 4 days.

Movement: Last week I felt movement for 5 minutes, the second move made me jump since it felt like someone was jumping in there! Since then nothing noticeable.

Food Cravings: Ice cream and chocolate. Horrible too since there's none in the house.

What I Miss: On and off deli meats, but I'm not sure if it's a situation of wanting what you can not have since I don't normally eat deli meats.

What I'm looking forward to: Knowing the gender and getting the baby room cleaned out.

Milestones: Felt distinguished movement last week. 18 weeks in itself feels like an accomplishment!!

Symptoms: Exhaustion, food aversions, nausea.

Quickening, back pain and pelvis. Oh my!

It's been a while since I've posted. Every one says the 2nd trimester brings so much relief from exhaustion, discomfort, and nausea... they lied. I'm not upset about it (and I'm not complaining - it's more of a documentation, this has been new), but I do miss having energy that's for sure!! Would sure help when we have so much planned for the next few months (landscaping, gardening, nursery, etc).

I know I posted about abdomen pain and back pain. Well I went to see my doctor February 7th and she felt my uterus and said it feels like the baby had a growth spurt (which was what the abdomen pain was probably coming from). As for the back pain she pushed on my pelvis thinking it'd be sensitive there, but instead found out my back cried bloody murder. She referred me to a physical therapist and I saw them last week. He felt around and had me do different things, when he pressed on my pelvis he said the right side is actually turned skewed inward (I'm still trying to figure out how that happened and what it looks like). So I'll be going to physical therapy at least once a week.

Baby's heart beat is around 160's. Everything else is doing good - I'll be getting the gender scan in less then 2 weeks!

Oh yeah and 2 days ago I felt quickening. I was laying down on the couch. Felt some weird movement and jumped when all of a sudden I felt a jump in there!! It continued for 5 minutes and then stopped. Was the coolest feeling ever but did catch me off guard!!

I want every one to know, I do read your blogs. I'm always hoping for great news and keeping my fingers crossed. I know I don't always get a chance to respond but I'm always crossing my fingers, keeping hope and praying someday there will be great news. Whether TTC or on an adoption list, I'm thinking of you.

14 weeks

How Far Along: 14 weeks (and 1 day)

How Big is The Baby: From what I've read 3 1/2 inches from crown to rump, roughly the size of a lemon

Total Weight Gain: 2 pounds

Maternity Clothes: I lost weight so I had some clothes that were bigger on me, but now they're getting snug. I need to get a belly band or something soon!

Sleep: Off and on still, wake up a ton during the night for various reasons - peeing and uncomfortable

GENDER: Unknown

Movement: Off and on I swear I feel something, but too soon for solid movement.

Food Cravings: Ice cream and sweets

What I Miss: I never slept solidly any way, so I cannot miss that if I never had it.. can I? Honestly the only thing I wish was my back pain would lighten up.

What I'm looking forward to: Finding out the babies gender in ~6 weeks.

Milestones: I'd say getting to the 2nd trimester is a good milestone!

Symptoms: Back pain, sore breasts, exhaustion, uncomfortable sleeping (I'm a belly sleeper), nausea, food aversions. None of it has lightened up yet.

Been feeling pain

Called my ob/gyn last week because of some uterus pain that felt like someone stabbed me with a knife and back pain. They said it could be a UTI (why I don't know) so they said if pain continued to come in the next day for a urine test. It lessened so I kind of brushed it off, since a urine test for UTI made no sense to me.

I called them today.. still waiting to hear back. My cramping/uterus pain is still on and off but my back pain is getting WORSE. Unfortunately no word back from them yet. I know my ob/gyn should be in this week (she wasn't last week) so hopefully they'll fit me in today. Otherwise I wait in pain for my Monday appointment.

Updated: They still insisted it could be a UTI. Went there for urine and they told me the beginning test (I believe white blood count) came back negative, no UTI. The doctor told them to tell me to take ibuprofen and see her on Monday for my appointment. Gee, pain over the weekend? Great! I'm just thinking maybe my scoliosis is coming back maybe. Don't know how any one could see if my back is out of shape while pregnant.. MRI?

Second trimester

Technically speaking I'm in the second trimester, I'm 13w5d. There's so much confusion on when the 2nd trimester starts that it frustrates me. I always thought once I hit 12 weeks I was in the 2nd trimester and in the "clear", but different places say different things about when the 2nd trimester actually hits. Some places say it's 13 weeks, some say it's 14 weeks. If we go off the whole dividing 40 weeks into trimesters it'd really be 13.3 weeks. Hence my confusion!! So I've decided - I'm in the 2nd trimester!

Honestly I'm still exhausted and still having a ton of food aversions. Do I mind? Only somewhat, I mind exhaustion when I know there's things to get done but I know I need my rest. I do kind of miss eating a variety of foods. Even as of lately I eat something, it tastes good and my stomach likes it then days later I'll eat the same thing and my stomach hates it. Kind of interesting how this pregnancy has been going. I've been enjoying the pregnancy either way, although sometimes even though my symptoms have been so intense I still have those moments that I feel like I'm not pregnant. When a friend asked if I seriously was pregnant I about said no! It still kind of feels like I'm in a dream.

My DH and I have been trying to get our son's bedroom looking like a big kid room. He's 5 on the 14th and it's about time he's out of the nursery setting. I've been asked why we didn't just switch him into another room and keep the nursery, but we wanted it to be simple. In 2 years we'll probably be selling this place so we wanted his room to look like the rest of the house. That and we already have enough room switching to do when we do get further along in this pregnancy. As for our nursery room? We'll keep it the light blue it is no matter what gender we get and just decorate it accordingly. I know I'll figure it out, I always do!!

Promise some day I'll show off some of the "before" pictures, when he had a nursery and now his big boy room. We still have to finish the trim around the ceiling, window and door though before we move his room back in.

It's kind of amazing how time has flown...

I know I haven't been there for you

I apologize I have not been there for my blog friends. I'm reading people's posts, saving them to respond to later and not getting around to it. I'm sorry if you haven't seen me comment lately but I promise I'm watching out for you praying things are going well and getting better.

I feel guilty a lot lately. Between lack of energy then winding up with an upper respiratory infection and getting put on antibiotics, I haven't had the energy to do much. From blog commenting to painting rooms I need to. I hope every one understands and I promise I will be responding to every one soon!! I'm always thinking about every one.

Stupid cold

Four days ago I wound up getting sick, the unfortunate part of having a kiddo in school - always getting sick. Thankfully he recuperates quicker then I do, in fact he's pretty much over it aside from a cough that lingers. My body lets it linger and get worse. Two nights ago I wound up with a 101 degree fever, which I know it isn't good when you're pregnant. Eventually we did get it to break, thankfully. However I'm still coughing up a storm - hacking up a lung or two and I hurt... all over. So I called my ob/gyn yesterday and now I'm on antibiotics to deal with the issue. I'm thankful for that, hopefully I can get over it really soon. My mom is 100% sure I have an upper respiratory infection. She's had her fair share of them, and I'm positive she's correct with the way I've been reacting.

Honestly I'm tired (you should have saw what I typed instead of "tired" - I was a few letters off which tells you how exhausted I am). I woke up at 5 am yesterday morning and never did get back to sleep, although my lovely DH let me try sleeping in the middle of the day (only semi-successful). This morning has kind of been the same way, although I was able to kind of get back to sleep for an hour or two.

I'm hoping this cold will be over soon, and hoping nothing bad is happening to the baby. I'm praying it doesn't hurt the little bean. Until I get better, all my plans to get things done are on hold.

Thanks for all those who suggested different nausea remedies! Is it odd that a few days later my nausea finally settled down? It's definitely a relief. It still show it's head now and then (everything I eat besides ice cream sounds bad) but it's not as intense now. I just wish food sounded more appealing.

Nausea remedy?

Does any one have any good nausea remedy suggestions? Willing to try anything!! As long as it can be safely done while pregnant, that is.

I don't puke, thankfully, but my nausea seems to be getting worse. In fact I have so many food aversions this is the list of things so far I crave and/or do not get nausea from eating:

cheeseburgers
french fries
donuts
chocolate
ice cream

Sounds like a very "healthy" list, doesn't it? LOL. Sadly when I eat these, I feel better. So far I've tried a variety of other meals that have been failures. I love their taste, but instant nausea. I'm still trying different recipes to rule out what I can eat without issue (tomorrow probably will be chicken quesidillas, hoping that goes over well).

Other wise.. what has helped your nausea? Any tips? I'd appreciate it.