Primary and secondary infertility. Recurrent pregnancy loss. PCOS. Insulin Resistance. Low progesterone. Vitamin D deficient. 3 1/2 years and 3 (more) clomid cycle cautiously expecting #2!

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Let's see...

Not much going on. On the 5th of November Aldon's submarine came in for a little bit to do some repairs, but they were gone again on the 8th. Atleast I had two days with him (since on of the days he worked 24 hours.) But it's sucked ever since he went back out. I'm missing him a ton and it's just not the same without him. All we can do lately is wait to hear when they're going to come home, but it sounds like it won't be until Mid-December or later. So everyone please home it's before Mid-December that they get back..

On the 15th I had my annual check done by my Primary Care Manager. What she did was more of a physical along with the annual checkup. I got my ears tested, my eyes checked, Blood Pressure, and Weight. All went well. I got a letter in the mailbox a few days ago from their office saying my results came back normal, so I have a year until I get another one done. I'm glad it came back good because I was nervous. Never know if I'll find out I have precancer again or worse (I had precancer of the cervix in 2001.)

Anyway, I got referred back over to the gyno. I should make an appointment with her soon, since it's not too far from when Aldon is coming home. I also have to call the PCM tomorrow to ask if she could give me a prescription for provera. I noticed she accidently gave me a prescription for glucophage which haven't taken for months.

So that's all the news that is up. For update on my weigh-in, check out my weightloss page! Bye!

Sunday, November 7, 2004

An update

Well, I got my period on the 21st of October and by the 24th it was pretty much over with. Nothing much has happened since then. Since Aldon is getting back mid-December, I plan to have an appointment with the gyno sometime this month. Which means I shoud be calling her sometime soon so I can be sure it'd be okay. I also have an annual that I'm getting done on the 15th of this month. I'll have it done by my PCM.

A few things I've realized, am grateful for and want to share my opinion. I *do* realize I'm young. My gyno has pointed that out and my PCM has too. I'm very well aware of the fact that I'm young. But I also have PCOS, and if that's not dealt with when I am young I risk a much greater chance of problems later on. Also, I don't want to wait around until I'm 35 to have children. I want to be young so I have the joys of parenting and am up and able for the challenge. I also want to have a time period when I'm older where I have time to myself (and my husband.) I want to still be "young" when I have that.

I do also know I have mixed feelings. I want a child with all my heart and pray I'm a great parent. At the same time, I'm nervous. Nervous about a few things actually. About birth. About how good I'd be at parenting. And then nervous about... will Aldon still be attracted to me after he sees a kid the size of a watermelon coming out of my ...? Yes, a pathetic question but it's my one insecurity. I want to be the mother, but at the same time I still want to be attractive to my husband. I fear I can't have the best of both worlds. I always wonder how much will a child change things for us. Our feelings. Our views. I'm sure everyone understands how those questions feel. Aldon says for me to not ask what-if, but sometimes you catch yourself doing it. Perhaps it's a way to prepare for a worse.

Well, I'll leave my journal at that for tonight. I'm going to try to sleep here soon. Maybe get too sleep earlier then normal for a change. Take care. Until later, bye.

P.S. I've got a cold. Stuffed up head, horrible cough, and nose that's stuffy. Oh yeah, the joys of being sick.