Primary and secondary infertility. Recurrent pregnancy loss. PCOS. Insulin Resistance. Low progesterone. Vitamin D deficient. 3 1/2 years and 3 (more) clomid cycle cautiously expecting #2!

Monday, September 27, 2004

Perfect timing

I called in my refill order a few minutes ago. It'll be ready to be picked up earlier then I thought. It's ready Thursday, which is also Day 28 of my cycle. I think I'll wait around on the 28th to see if it comes by itself, then start my provera on the 29th to induce it. I really am hoping to get my period on my own sometime. If not this month.. maybe I can hope for next? I know I'll regret saying this.. but, I miss having my period on my own. Eeks! That's going to come back to bite me in the butt later.

My mom and I were talking on the phone again about children (I believe yesterday). Or maybe this was the same conversation? LOL. Anyway, I was talking to her about twins. I asked her if she would be shocked if I wound up with a pair (LOL). She told me she wouldn't be. I asked her why. She said it was because when I talked to her about being pregnant with twins she felt that I would be. It really has me wondering. My mother has fairly good intuition. So, we'll have to see! Right now, I'd be escatic being pregnant with one.

Sunday, September 26, 2004

Day 24 of Cycle: NO SHOW

Well, today is Day 24 of my cycle and there is *no* difference on Basal Body Temp, which just prooves my point. Either I'm a) not ovulating or b) Basal Body checking is crap. However, get this, what showed I was ovulating? OF COURSE, THE OVULATION STICKS! So things are messed up. Although I'm sort of wondering if the sticks are the liars. I just think they are.

I was talking to mom about birth yesterday. I wanted to know how her labor went and all, as I'm worried about actually *giving birth*. The idea of a baby in my tummy and a child being around is fine and dandy, love it... but, the thought of delivering scares the sh*t out of me! Back then.. there was *no* such thing as epidural. LOL. She said with Richard, she was in a lot of pain and had drugs. Well, what do you expect? He was born breech. *That* has got to hurt! With me, she said she didn't have any pain and didn't have drugs. Now I really I hope I have her kind of birth that she had with me! So much for small wishes. LOL.

That's pretty much all going on. I have to reorder my pills, and have forgot to do so. So I need to do that tomorrow and I know they won't have them in for a week. ((HOW the heck do you not *have* them in for a week? I will never get this.)) Unfortunetely, since I've forgotten it means I won't be taking my pills on day 28 to start my period. Maybe I'll get lucky and get it on my own, but I have a feeling that isn't going to workout. So, I guess I'll be taking them around day 32/34 or so. Man, what I'd do for a normal functioning body!

Saturday, September 18, 2004

Cycle day: 16 and an appropriate horoscope

Today is cycle day 16, no sign of basal body temperature rising. Well, it *sort of* did. I realize I range lower on BBT. Yesterday I was 96.8. Today I'm 97.0. I was thinking, maybe she wants me to do this because there's a chance it'll show a rise. And with this rise, she wants to see *what day* it happens. Why? So she knows what day to do ovulation tests. Possibly? I don't know. Best I could think of. We'll see if the basal shows any difference. I still have some ovulation test sticks so I might try those in a few days. I'm sure they'll show I'm ovulating, but I don't know. I don't know what it'd mean when it shows my LH surge rise, but I didn't ovulate on tests. Maybe I should ask..

I was cruising horoscope pages and found an appropriate horoscope for me today. Here it is:

During the time of this aspect it is advisable to acquire a greater vision of the positive elements that sentimentally are forming part of your life; thus, if you give inner thanks for the good things happening to you, it is very probable that they are expanded and magnified. Don't concentrate on things you lack or would like to possess emotionally, it would be preferable to put your psyche on positive things and what is good for your family and sentimental relationships.

I was really thinking about this. And it's true. How much of us don't focus on the good things? I don't, but I should be. My body is giving myself thanks because I'm losing weight, and I should give myself inner thanks for how I've been feeling. I really should concentrate on the good things rather then the bad. So in light of that, here are some positive things that have been happening:

1) I'm losing weight

2) I think one of my PCOS problems is lessening. It's hurisitism (hair on face), I think it's coming in slower and less.

3) I'm more motivated since I started working out

4) I've realized how tasty a chicken salad with fat free catalina can be (LOL.. I'm eating one right now)

5) I'm stronger. I could pick up Aldon even.

6) I'm getting more muscles in my legs and arms

7) I got this cool line developing that goes down the middle of my abdomens

8) Losing weight will make me healthier, and healthier when I get pregnant

There's more. I know they're mostly related to my exercise and weightloss, but still, they are positive! I do have a lot going for me right now, and I am happy. I just hope that since I'm losing weight my periods will come on their own, and maybe my body will let me ovulate on my own. Hope hope.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Short update

Well, the 3rd I got my period, I called about 4 days later to tell the doctor's office. Of course by that time my period was over with! LOL. Let's see... no clomid, just watching basal body temperature. I personally don't think basal body temperatures are accurate in watching for ovulation, but we'll see. The end.

Friday, September 3, 2004

Day one

It's day one of my cycle and I'm not too excited. I was having cramps that made me feel horrible. It was then that I wondered why I wanted to get my period in the first place! But I'm doing better now.

The doctor wants me to chart my basal body temperature. Before I started this cycle for like three days I was trying to "practice" getting in the hang of it. How the heck do I remember every morning once waking up to STOP! Not get out of bed and relax and take my temp? Craziness. But I'll continue to try, even though sometimes I don't think this is as accurate as it could be. Maybe we'll see if it shows me if I ovulate on my own. I doubt.

This is where TTC halts. There is no TTC. Just now trying to get my schedule on track, get me to ovulate, and also try losing weight. Hurricane Frances is threatening to come this way, so the guys are getting the submarine ready to leave and should be leaving today. They don't want their precious boat hit. They should be coming home soon after it dies for a week more, then leave for patrol. I'm not sure though. All I know is I miss him everytime he leaves.

So there won't be much to report in this journal since he'll be gone. However, I might give small updates on weightloss (for those who don't read my weightloss journal), give updates on my cycle, and how things are going. Take care.