Primary and secondary infertility. Recurrent pregnancy loss. PCOS. Insulin Resistance. Low progesterone. Vitamin D deficient. 3 1/2 years and 3 (more) clomid cycle cautiously expecting #2!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

4w5d blood work results

This is about yesterday - 4w5d's beta results!! I was anxiously to hear the #'s and got them a few hours ago. Here's the break down now.

12 dpo - 24 mIU/mL, Progesterone 22.94

16 dpo - 122 mIU/mL Doubling Time 40.92 hours

19 dpo - 422 mIU/mL, Progesterone 18.4 Doubling Time 40.22 hours

It's going at a great pace, staying under 2 days doubling time so I'm happy! The nurse practitioner said my progesterone is in the normal levels for the first trimester and that they can vary so I'm not too worried about that.

I've got the referral to the Navy hospital's OB/gyns approved so I'll be calling to make my first appointment soon! I'm still praying they stick to their agreement about having my first ultrasound at 6 weeks, but we'll see. I already know the person who discussed it no longer works there - thing about Navy doctors is they're switched out so much!! The price we pay sometimes.

So here's hoping for the best - and praying for a miracle in the end. I'm already so excited to start everything for this baby I cannot wait.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Ball of jitters

I've been on edge - obviously for a few different reasons. Betas are rising at a good pace, but still low. I know I'll be more comforted when they reach a certain point - I was 438 mIU/mL when they stopped checking my betas last round then miscarried 10 days later so that is the highest # I have seen. So tomorrow I've decided to go in... we're looking for a number of 305 mIU/mL or above to be considered doubling within 2 days. So I've got my fingers crossed. I feel like the pregnancy is going in the right direction. I'm feeling so much different then I did with my miscarriage - more tired, breasts are very very tender, my emotions are higher, and overall feel like this should be a good thing. I'm really praying that God doesn't have a cruel sense of humor - since this little bean is due on our anniversary and I don't think I could handle having a miscarriage and the reminder of what day our child would have been with us. Why has pregnancy caused some of us to lose our innocence? I miss being that oblivious smug pregnant lady who never thought that it could be taken away just as quickly.

I've been feeling like I've been leaking all the time. I keep wiping expecting to see bleeding. Kind of freaky, but I'm realizing it's a combination... I'm just more lubricated down there right now and I'd hate to admit it but my bladder is shot. I cannot let my bladder get too full or I start to leak. Welcome to pregnancy! LOL. Too much information, right? Well let me tell you pregnancy isn't all about glowing and looking radiant. In fact in the first trimester you can expect to run screaming. I look like a mess, my hair hates me, and I'm freakin' tired. Leave me alone! :)

I know once 7 weeks hits I'll feel better about everything.. or until I see that little bean on an ultrasound with the heart beat flickering away. I'm praying so much that this one sticks. From the moment I get that BFP I love that child, they're mine and nothing can take that feeling away. I'm already excited to find a name, to paint the nursery, to buying the essentials... just so thrilled. I know Andrew will make a great big brother (besides his vow to already torment his younger sibling) and we'll feel more complete.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

So nervous

Pregnancy update: Well thankfully it didn't even take 24 hours to get my results! That was good news. However I'm still on edge this round. My results showed that my HcG was 122 mIU/mL. So here's how it is going so far:

12 dpo: 24 mIU/mL
16 dpo: 122 mIU/mL

Doubling time: 40.92 hours

According to a "normal" doubling time when under 1200 mIU/ml is around 31-72 hours. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed and praying for a good outcome. Next beta should be the 26th or 27th depending on if I can hold out a day longer.

Friday, April 23, 2010

4w2d Update

Pregnancy update: 4w2d. Promise I won't do that all the time! LOL. Well, today is technically 16dpo... got my second beta drawn today and have to wait for the results!! Unfortunately when I asked the lady how long until I get the results she said most likely 48 hours!! It sounds like their place had changed who owns it or something, but if it takes 48 hours then all I have to say is their laboratory sucks. And yes I'm anxious to know, I just thought it would be more like 24 hours. Once I get them I'll be updating again. Oh and the pregnancy test? Yeah I took that after my beta for reassurance.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

4w1d Update

Pregnancy update: I'm 4w1d so I'm going through all the pregnancy nerves again. We won't be telling family for a while because my last miscarriage was at 6w2d and telling every one that we miscarried is not the highlight of my life. However I'm feeling a little more confident about this pregnancy. Already my pregnancy signs are starting to stick out more - I'm a tad more sensitive and emotional to things (alright, I started bawling last night when my son woke up crying and coughing) and my breasts are really tender. I honestly didn't have many signs last time which led me to wonder if things were progressing, but later was confirmed when I started bleeding. Honestly I'd rather be sick and puking if it meant feeling more comfort in how things are going. I'm still waiting for the referral to the OB/GYN clinic at the Naval hospital and then once that goes through will be scheduling my first appointment. The OB/GYN who dealt with my
miscarriage told me that due to my prior two miscarriages I can get my first ultrasound at 6 weeks and trust me I'm holding them to that.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

My blog for almost everything

I wanted to post for those who want to know where I'll be blogging my new place is:

The Good Stuff

It'll be about my son, my husband, some of my photography and mostly about my pregnancy. :)

Announcement (posted to my other blog before)

I'm pregnant!! Not many people read this journal, so I don't have to fear all my relatives and friend's finding out before I want to tell them. We're cautiously expecting - I'm only 13 dpo so I'm not quite 4 weeks yet! 3w 6d to be precise. I had a miscarriage in September so I'm very nervous about having a repeat. I had my first beta drawn yesterday, 12 dpo and my progesterone level was 22.94 and my HcG # was 24. So I'm barely pregnant! And kind of petrified about that #, but my last miscarriage was around the same. I'm hoping to see the #'s go up a ton with the next beta. My primary care manager won't do another one for a week so I think what I'll do is buy a beta on 4/23 (will cost $58 but worth the peace of mind) and then go in for the other beta/progesterone test on 4/27. Of course even waiting 3 more days is nerve wracking but hopefully I'll find things to keep me busy.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Nervous, excited and everything in between!

This was yesterday, 10 dpo. Those lovely digitals make it so there is no ignoring the obvious fact - I'm pregnant! And scared. And so very nervous. In 3 days it will be 7 months since my miscarriage and I know how worried I am about a repeat. In a way I regret testing so early just because now I'm left with the wonder of how this pregnancy will go. Hopefully that worry will ease up over the next few months, but I cannot blame myself for questioning it all. I'm excited as can be, of course... and amazed we're pregnant again. I'm only 3 weeks 4 days pregnant and have already started thinking down the road - about what to do with the nursery, if we want another cartoon theme (I'm leaning on no this round), etc etc. And I'm already getting on the ball health-wise. Obviously aiming to lose weight has gone out the window, but I will be eating more lean meats, fruits and vegetables. And exercising to WATP and pregnancy videos a few times a week. Doing something small and I know I'll lose weight in the beginning but that's not a bad thing. I won't be doing it on purpose though... but since I am starting this journey overweight it's going to be healthier for me in the end.

So far my mom, my husband and my best friend know. None of them will be telling any one they know - at least no one in my immediate family and friends will know for a while. In a month or so I'll let my sister in law who is dealing with infertility know, once I feel in a safer zone. I want her to know first before we visit for the family reunion in July (I'll be 18 weeks then) because I know how I felt when our other sister in law sent the most impersonal E-mail announcing her pregnancy after my miscarriage. It was painful. I'm not doing the same thing to my other SIL that I love. She will know first and through the phone... I hope she handles it well but I'm praying she finds out she is pregnant soon too.

I'm thinking of starting a new blog - one I could post about my pregnancy so any one dealing with infertility doesn't have to read about it unless they want to. I'll post a link in the future.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Progesterone results, infertility ob/gyn appointment and pregnancy tests. OH MY!

What shall I start with? First, I got my progesterone levels back from yesterday. They look for a level of 10 or above when not medicated and 15 or above if using fertility medicines. Of course I was on an un-medicated and my level was 18.34!! Means I ovulated just fine! My ovulation chart is actually located RIGHT HERE SO CLICK IT. So far my temperature is looking good. Had two higher days but I'm pretty sure it's because I've been under the weather.

My infertility appointment went well. The doctor believed in FAM (fertility awareness method) which is essentially charting, I've been doing it for 11 months as you can see by the link I just made. I think she was surprised how well I knew everything and presented myself. She pretty much asked me what I wanted to do - I said I'd try fertility medication for a while and if in 6 months down the road things don't work out I'll be heading to a RE for IUI (1 1/2 hours away, so hopefully we don't need to go this route but who knows).

So this is the plan, *if* I'm not pregnant this month.

CD 1 - Call the ob/gyn clinic for getting appointments and blood work set up.
CD 3- Go in for Cycle Day 3 blood work, including anything related to the Clomid Challenge and Inhibin B tests
CD 5-9 - Take clomid 50mg/day
HSG done sometime in between all this, usually within a week or so after my period I believe.
CD 10 - Second test related to Clomid Challenge

And she said she'd have me having ultrasounds and checking in to see how my follicles are progressing on this.

7dpo - Progesterone test

She said she'd be willing to prescribe me progesterone in the form of pills that I would take up until 12 weeks if I became pregnant, just to be on the safe side since she does believe low progesterone can be detrimental. I wish the ob/gyns at the Navy base would think like that! I'd probably have know some issues ahead of time!

So I guess it's all up to me, at least that is how she came off as. Which isn't a bad thing, but kind of nerve-wracking being the one to make all the choices. She doesn't believe we'll find any thing on the HSG, but did say after one that for some reason people have an increased chance at getting pregnant for the first couple months. She also said I could try metformin again, she said sometimes it can help clomid work better but since I'm already ovulating normally it might not do anything.

So essentially that's it!! And oh yeah, it's 8dpo... of course I tested. Umm.. multiple times today. I have people in TTC groups saying they see lines - then some saying they don't. Need I mention that this happens *every* cycle, so I never can tell what is real or not until eventually I get a solid BFP or my period. So yeah, here's the tests of today (don't forget 8dpo is really early and I'm not out until my period shows!):
Wondfo Test FMU (First morning urine) Sorry that it is sideways!!
Dollar Tree Store also FMU
Equate in the afternoon

And yes, I do see lines... every where. I also have the urge to pee on things, constantly. Don't worry I don't act on sudden pee urges unless it's on tests.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Getting back to my health while waiting to conceive

I know I need to lose weight, there's no denying that. I've had weight issues all my life and it wasn't until I reached 197 pounds that I conceived and delivered my healthy son. I am partially thinking that's been part of the blame on my miscarriages - I was 220 when I had my first miscarriage and around 230 when I had my second. Lately I'm hovering around 228 and it scares me to wonder if the next time I get pregnant I'll miscarry again. I know it's not always likely, but I don't want to take chances in a way. So I need to vow to get back on track with eating cleaner and exercising, which is hard when I don't have a lot of energy in the first place. Got to start somewhere though.

I'm currently at 6dpo. I'm nervous, as always. Nervous for the possibility of more months of trying over any thing else. As always I also am *feeling* pregnant. Breast soreness? Very much! Exhaustion? Even worse. Getting a cold? Well, okay that's new. I got sick without any one else being sick in my family over the weekend! What is up with that? I wish I could explain that one since it's new to me.

2 more days until my appointment. I will be getting some 7dpo blood work done tomorrow unless my primary doctor's office says no to it, but they shouldn't since they're always considerate about doing any tests I need done (since my first ob/gyn infertility appointment is the day after I can't exactly ask their office). Hopefully everything will go well. I still need to figure out what to ask or request of this infertility doctor. We'll see what they think too.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Remembering the humor

During TTC it's good to keep humor, and my DH and I were having fun joking about his sperm. He's got a great count as his last S.A. showed so I was teasing him about it. The jokes (some on his side) were:

Sperm doesn't ask for directions
Sperm made a wrong turn
Sperm aren't getting a good enough pep talk
Sperm followed map-quest directions - that's why they're getting lost (any one who uses map-quest will know what I mean)

Now we know I'm most likely the issue, but it's fun to use the "men don't ask for directions" thing when it comes to his sperm. And if any one has seen documentaries on sperm traveling to the egg you'd realize they *do* get lost. Obviously not all of them make it to the finish line, otherwise we'd have a better chance conceiving if they did!

As for other news - I'm 3 dpo here. As always my breasts started hurting the day of ovulation. For once I wish it was a pregnancy sign. I'm going to see if my primary doctor will do another progesterone test on 7dpo, and 8 dpo I have my first infertility ob/gyn appointment! I'm nervous about it all - nervous about failure, nervous about going further into infertility testing, nervous about being pregnant... but I want pregnancy at least. I want this all to be worth it in the end and it will be - if we have a child in the end. It'd make me so happy to be blessed once more. But for now... I'm just nervous.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

My husband, the super sperm?

I finally convinced my husband to get a sperm sample analysis done, just in case the issue was him but also so we could have that information if this ob/gyn who deals with infertility asked for it. Well, to put it lightly he's not the issue! Looking at everything he had 520 million sperm in his ejaculation (about 40 million is normal). That in itself shocked me. All he was told was his pH level is a little high but didn't elaborate or say that was an issue but I'm looking into it. Here's his #'s:

Liquefy time: normal
Volume: 3.5 mL (>=2 mL is normal)
pH: 8.0 (7.2 or under is normal from what it looks like)
Sperm density: 149.1 million/mL (>=20 million/mL is normal)
Sperm total: 521.9 mil/ejac (>=40 mil/ejac is normal)

*Looked it up and everything I found on the pH said: "The pH of semen has not been generally found to have a major influence on a man's fertility potential." (came from

This is where it confuses me a little since motility and normal morphology aren't based on what most websites mention, but the doctor didn't say anything to him about the #'s being bad.

Motility, rapid: 26.6% (>=25% is normal)
Motility, slow: 14.9%
Non-progressive: 6.8%
Immotile: 51.7%
Normal Morphology: 13% (>=15% is normal)

Honestly I kind of was hoping it wouldn't be me, but I know that was unlikely! I have PCOS, insulin resistance, vitamin d deficiency and last 7dpo test (only one I've had done so far) showed low progesterone. I have 9 days to go until my appointment and I'm kind of anxious!