Primary and secondary infertility. Recurrent pregnancy loss. PCOS. Insulin Resistance. Low progesterone. Vitamin D deficient. 3 1/2 years and 3 (more) clomid cycle cautiously expecting #2!

Monday, June 28, 2010

Sorry for my failure

I'm sorry that I have probably been the biggest ICLW failures when it comes to making comments to every one and posting back. I'll be responding to some comments soon and since it is the last day trying to comment on some new people's blogs. I've just been keeping myself busy with everything in life currently.

Like I said last time - I'm trying to get into my creative gene and have been using photoshop to design tshirts and the such. Well I haven't done IF or pregnancy loss shirts yet, but those will come soon. Still accepting ideas all the time if any one comes up with some at all! I have been concentrating on breast cancer awareness shirts since those were easier for me to come up with ideas. I have a few already up on zazzle now. You can get an idea here: Tshirts for a Cause to see what I've been doing. However some of them are not showing yet, although supposedly they have been published. I still have about 10 to upload as well. Busy, busy!

As for the biggest question people had - what is microstock? Essentially there is buyers and sellers there - photographers go through a lengthy process of editing their photos, tagging their photos, and trying to upload it to a microstock site to have them sold. If that microstock sites approves it (they're strict with no noise, no blurs, etc) then other buyers can chose to buy it when they're searching for that subject. Well, I was getting only 25 cents every time one of my photos sold and that happened in a blue moon. The buyers then can use it under a certain terms and condition of the website - which is pretty much they can use it on like 100,000 items being reproduced or other stipulations. But still - they can publish the sellers photo on a lot. So I spend all the hard work to have them use my photo, God knows where, and possibly make a profit on it. I hope I explained it well. Say the least it wasn't fulfilling to me. It might work for others, but I beg to differ. Photographers work is worth more.

As for the TTC front currently - there's no news. Seriously. Since I had my miscarriage in May I haven't ovulated and I haven't had a period so I don't even know what to expect with my body any more! I hate being in the unknown area. I'm going to schedule an appointment with the infertility ob/gyn and ask for more blood work for pregnancy loss and talk about what I should do right now - wait it out or induce with provera. I think I should wait it, but we'll see what happens.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

My creative gene...

First I have to say I'm oddly surprised from ICLW that no one has seemed to come my way, really. I guess with 180 blogs out there I should expect that, but I'm still a little surprised. Perhaps my life truly is that boring - or maybe it's because IF is a depressing state to be in sometimes. Perhaps if I bring some cheer over here?

Well I'm generally very creative, at least I'd like to think so. I love creating ideas and following through with things - although I'm a little lazy at finishing! Procrastination should be my middle name. Well I started dabbling my hand into micro-stock... come to find out, it's not for me. I don't feel like my work is worth 25¢ every time someone buys it. I especially was frustrated to see one of the other people's pictures that is in micro-stock on a mouse pad making $8 every time someone buys one, when she probably was paid 25¢ to $5 perhaps. So this person is making a good amount off of this picture. I know she's making a lot of money in micro-stock though, she's got a lot of photos up and has a good income coming in. Me? I have probably 12 photos. As you can imagine in competition 12 photos isn't going to get seen in a swarm of billions.

Anyway, so that mouse-pad got me thinking. If I went to zazzle or cafepress and set up a shop there using my photos and sayings I feel like I could make at least a few dollars a month. I'm not looking for a job type of income here (although that wouldn't be shabby), but an extra $100 a month never hurts. So I've been thinking of ideas - and wondered, what IF or RPL shirts would you like to see? I'm going for other ideas as well, but I truly think there should be awareness about IF and RPL out there. I guess I'm more open about what's going on in my reproductive system then some, but I think after all the issues I've been given a "I don't give a damn what you think" attitude. What does every one think?

*Wanted to add: I totally understand ICLW takes a while, there's a ton of blogs! I know I forgot about doing some blog responses the first few days and am making it up. I know there's some blogs where people don't relate, and some that do. I've found a few so far I've instantly followed because they're a lot like me. There's a few too I actually was following in the first place, so it's all understandable :)

Monday, June 21, 2010

Welcome ICLW

Welcome to all those participating in ICLW. Not sure how it will work out, but we'll see. I almost forgot it started today!! I'll introduce myself a little bit.

My name is Krystal, I've been married 8 1/2 years to my husband who joined the Navy shortly before we married. I have one son, Andrew, who is almost 4 1/2 years old who was a miracle of primary infertility (and one miscarriage).

Now we're suffering secondary infertility as well. We've been TTC since April 2007 without success carrying to term. I had a 6w2d miscarriage in September 2009 and a 8w3d miscarriage in May 2010. So... the wounds are still fresh. I'm trying to deal. I still haven't found out why I'm suffering RPL, the tests so far are normal - all I know for sure is I have PCOS, Vitamin D deficiency and Insulin Resistance (this diagnosis is old so I need to test again). All those make me higher risk for a miscarriage, which makes it tougher to want to try. But I want more children, always hoped I'd have a sibling for my son. I just never expected it would take this long...

Friday, June 18, 2010

Contact Me

You can contact me via E-mail:


Tweet me at

Common TTC abbreviations

This is a list of commonly used TTC and every day life abbreviations you'll see on my site!

2ww - Two Week Wait
AF - Aunt Flo, menstruation
BBT - Basal Body Temperature
BD - Baby Dance, sex
BFP - Big Fat Positive (pregnancy test)
BFN - Big Fat Negative (pregnancy test)
CD - Cycle Day
CM - Cervical Mucus (fluid)
CP - Cervix Position
DH - Dear Husband
DS - Dear Son
DPO - Days Past Ovulation
DTD - Doing The Dance, BD, sex
EDD - Estimated Due Date
EWCM - Egg White Cervical Mucus
HPT - Home Pregnancy Test
HSG - Hysterosalpingogram
IF - Infertility
IR - Insulin Resistance
IUI - Intrauterine Insemination
LH - Luteinizing Hormone, detected in OPKs
LP - Luteal Phase, days in between ov & AF
MC or M/C- Miscarriage
O or OV - Ovulation
OPK - Ovulation Predictor Kit
PCOS - Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome
PG - Pregnancy, pregnant
RE - Reproductive Endocronologist
RPL - Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
SA - Semen Analysis
SAHM - Stay at Home Mom
TCOYF - Taking Charge of your Fertility
TTC - Trying to Conceive
TTCA - Trying to conceive again

Our Infertility History

This is an overview on our infertility history, to make it easier then seeing a long drawn-out story on our history. That way I can also easily tab it on my new blog. Will update it as time goes on, but hopefully it turns into a happier history and better future!

December 2001 - Married the love of my life

Beginning 2003 - Started TTC, stopped all birth control

End of 2003 - Diagnosed with PCOS after 9 months of not having a period, and other signs/symptoms

January/February 2005 - After two years TTC, got pregnant on clomid (four months after starting it) then miscarried at 6w

May 2005 - Found out I was pregnant, naturally

February 2006 - Delivered a healthy/beautiful son, named Andrew

April 2007 - Started TTC #2

Mid-2007 - Diagnosed with Insulin Resistance

May 2009 - Started Charting

April - June 2009 - Took clomid two months, didn't like the side effects so I went off of it.

September 2009 - Found out I was pregnant, miscarried at 6w2d. Husband left on submarine a week later.

December 2009 - Back to TTCA since husband returned home

Beginning 2010 - Diagnosed with Vitamin D deficiency

April/May 2010 - Found out I was pregnant, spotted for a week then had a gush of blood and went to the hospital to find the heart beat had stopped. 8w3d along, baby measured 7w4d. All my feelings and worries came true.

Back to the drawing board

Mid-August 2010 - Inducing period with provera, hasn't came since our loss.

August - November 2010 - Took clomid for three cycles

November 21 2010 - BFP @ 10 dpo. Low progesterone, started prometrium 11/22/2010. Hoping for a sticky bean!

11/22/2010 - HCG 38 mIU and progesterone at 20.69
11/24 - HCG 129 miU - Doubling time 26.65

More pregnancy updates:

Monday, June 14, 2010

Not much to report

I got some blood work from my primary care managers office done last week and finally got the results today. They did progesterone (why at this stage I don't know), testosterone, metabolic panel, CBC w/ differential (white blood counts), monocyte absolute, and something else called a hemogram? Well majority of it came back normal - but my monocyte absolute was a little high. Their office didn't seem concerned.. perhaps since when I got the test done I had a cold going on which I'm assuming can elevate it? What sucks is I'm still not over the cold either, it's been 9 days since I got it. The other thing that was low was my Vitamin D still. A good range is 30-150 and mine is 23 so I'll be back on 5000 miU of Vitamin D.

I should be ovulating soon. My OPK's are starting to show a second line so it'll be within the week I'm guessing. I don't know whether to be excited or depressed. I'm just not feeling it at all lately - I'm so mixed with emotions. Do I try? Do I stop? Will I miscarry again? All these overwhelming questions and I cannot stop thinking about them. I've lost two babies within 9 months and I really don't want to risk another... but does that stop me from trying? I guess all you do is put one foot forward and pray. Guess I'll be taking that leap. Next month it won't be happening - I won't be starting clomid because I don't feel comfortable being on it amidst going on a vacation to a family reunion, so it will have to wait.

I've mostly been hanging around my other blog - The Good Stuff where the better life is. Life away from IF, RPL and everything else that bums me out. I like it there better, it involves more smiling. I refuse to even really venture on the TCOYF boards now because the only groups I fit in are pregnancy loss and infertility, two horrible spots to be in.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

What I'm thankful for *child mentioned*

I always feel guilty posting something when a child is involved, for those suffering primary infertility. I used to be one of those people in that group and knew how much it hurt when another person talked about certain things. However, sometimes with IF we focused too much on the pain, endless BFN months, frustrations, poking, prodding and everything else involved. Today I want to focus on what I'm so grateful for, as I suggest all of you in IF world do too.

1. I'm grateful for my husband. For the 8 years we've had together. For him supporting me through drama, struggles, IF, and miscarriages. Even though he sometimes doesn't know what to say, I'm thankful for it. In fact today I think I will take a change to buy *him* some flowers. Updated: The picture above is the gladiolus I bought him!

2. *Child mentioned* I'm grateful for my one and only son. Even if we're never blessed with other children, it's just fine. As much as I want him to have a sibling I know he'll grow up to be a successful man. He lights up our life and is so smart, even though he's a little stubborn.

3. I'm thankful for my family. Although there's some in-laws I could do without, for the most part both sides of our family has many supportive and considerate people. I wouldn't trade most of them for the world!

4. I'm thankful for my camera. Now I see things as more beautiful then others do - see things more interesting and cherish everything. Even bugs (as you can tell) which many wouldn't get that close to no less take a picture of. In fact knowing me I'll be outside taking a picture of a huge wasp hive my husband found on the back of our shed!

5. I'm thankful for the roof over our heads, the food we have, and the income we receive. Though we don't make a lot, we are happy and healthy.

I challenge you to think of all the beautiful things in your life! I know there's more I have, but these are the top 5 today.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Tuesday Tagalong

I found this on someone else's blog post - I figured it might be interesting to see how it works. It's a good idea to get some followers and I figured what would it hurt?

Tuesday Tag-Along

In other news - I'm going to the doctor today for more blood work. Of course I've now been sick three days. This is what happens when I don't drink enough water in a day - I don't just get a sore throat, I get *sick*. Obviously now I should know better.. a little too late...

Any person coming from another blog (or from Tweepoppets), if you're not interested in TTC/infertility/miscarriage rants head over to my main site: The Good Stuff which I post to about photography, my son, my husband and life in general away from the infertility junk.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Appointments (and complaining)

I got an appointment scheduled Tuesday to talk to my PCM (primary care manager) about some of the blood work I figured isn't up Dr. Q's alley. I decided Thursday to get some of my records from the Navy ob/gyn office and it mentioned a high white blood count (cut off it 10 and mine was 10.9) so I questioned it, since no one ever gave me results of my blood work at all. So I figured I'd ask the PCM to check to make sure my levels are not still high since I'm no longer pregnant and to also check vitamin D and calcium again as well. Possibly some other normal blood work too - I just know I've been feeling run down and sluggish again. Honestly I think I felt less tired when I was pregnant and not sleeping until 1-2 am.

I kind of pushed off calling and making an appointment with Dr. Q for more blood work, although I want to. I've just been trying to still cope with every thing that has happened. Thankfully people seem to understand why I haven't said much or been social, but I wonder if secretly they think I should be over it all.

The biggest issue I have with ob/gyn offices is there's no place for the infertile or pregnancy loss women to hide. Their offices are all inconsiderate - all these women coming in showing off their bellies (no less rubbing them) while here I sit looking at my belly that hasn't recuperated from the pregnancy and miscarriage. How I envy them. Such a beautiful blessing to have which I miss. So many women complaining about their pregnancies lately - how much they hate being pregnant, hate puking, hate the swelling, the endless nights of not sleeping, and more. I have half a nerve to tell them to shove it - there is people worse out there then them. There's people who pray to have all those issues. I know some people have it bad and have to be hospitalized, that's different... but still, all these women need to remember how blessed they are to feel like crap.

No one ever told me if I should take a break TTC, which is odd since my other miscarriages they talked about that with me. I guess once you have three miscarriages you know the drill. I haven't been charting, but I should since I know I'll probably ovulate in two weeks. I'm confused why Dr. Q. wants me on clomid next month, but timing wise ovulation will hit when we should be going to a family reunion. Horrible timing. I asked DH if he would pass it up if it meant we would have a chance to get pregnant and he said yes, but this was before we got pregnant and miscarried so I guess things have changed.

I need a real vacation. A relaxing hotel, no worries... just my husband, my son, and my camera. All of which I'm thankful to have.

I'll shut up now. Sometimes I just need to vent and blog. Sorry to all those who stuck it out and read. LOL.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

New Title

I thought of this last night as I drifted off to sleep - since I was determined to stick to the pictures I've done in the header I needed a new title name for my blog. "Buzz Off Infertility" seems very appropriate, not just because of the header picture. So what does every think?

Friday, June 4, 2010

Might edit blog further later

I've been working on fixing up my blog, but cannot determine whether I should "pretty" it up with colors or stick to something basic. I do like basic, it's easier on the eyes as well as easy to contend with - but am not 100% sure. For now, what you see is what you get. However, please do tell me if the coloring hurts your eyes. I'm still working on that part because I'm not 100% satisfied with it.

As for the pictures that are in my blog header - I know they're not fertility related, but they're my pictures and I'm proud of them. I've never done pictures related to fertility - needles, baby items, whatever... maybe some day I will but for now I think this will do just fine.

Any opinions?

Update: I also wanted to add that you'll see my pregnancy updates added into this blog, as I'm removing them from my "The Good Stuff" blog and importing them into here. With IF and RPL I figured it belonged in here more.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Normal results

I finally took the time to call and get my first RPL blood work results- everything I got came back negative, which means there is no issues and everything is normal. I had a feeling that would be what would happen, I honestly don't think we'll find anything, however I still want to ask about more blood work. I forgot to ask the nurse when I was on the phone with her, since I was on the cell phone with my mother at the time, so I think I'll call to schedule an appointment to have a one on one with Dr. Q.

The nurse told me that we would continue on with what we were planning to do in the beginning - next period I'll get an HSG done before CD 10. They told me they will give me doxycycline a day before, the day of, and the day after the HSG to prevent infection. Also we'll do CD 3 testing, and start clomid on CD 5-9. I guess she'll give me progesterone to help when I'm pregnant and I'll be on it until 13 weeks. I'm not going to object, since I've always questioned low progesterone but they never confirm the #'s. Only reason I knew where I was at around 4w and 5w was because of my primary care manager but once I got turned over to the Navy hospital they stopped because they don't believe in them.

It's kind of hard to be stuck in the middle and not know where to go next. I wish I knew.