Always an infertile

I think no matter what when we've experienced miscarriages and/or infertility we're always an infertile no matter what happens in life. Whether we found out we're barely pregnant or have had a child after infertility. We're always an infertile it seems.

I know it's hard for me to look at someone else and see their beautiful round belly, knowing they're very much pregnant and not be overcome with jealousy. It's hard to get past that. I guess it would be easier for us if they told us "We had to use IVF" or "we tried for 5 years", but when we glance at someone we don't know and see their belly all we see is the green eyed monster.

When it comes to people in our infertility circle I think it's easier to be truly happy for them. I'm not saying we aren't jealous of those who announce pregnancies - but at least we're happy to see a graduate.

I fear if I post here about my pregnancy updates I'll lose friends or that I'll upset others. I know it's bound to happen. I would love to post about pregnancy on my other blog, but I don't feel comfortable doing that. When I was pregnant last time I posted on the other blog - and as you know it turned out horrible. I don't feel comfortable talking about pregnancy when I fear that something will happen again. I have recurrent pregnancy loss and I feel more comfortable talking about this here.

I hope I don't lose any of my TTC friends. I know it sucks that others are struggling and getting BFN's, trust me I'm feeling pain for you and really want it to happen for you. Whether it's naturally, IUI, IVF, FET, or adoption.. I truly want to see your happiness and I pray you find it soon. I know it's hard to think about the future as anything but BFN's and miscarriages, but hope you can keep a positive mind that your future will be different. *hugs*