Primary and secondary infertility. Recurrent pregnancy loss. PCOS. Insulin Resistance. Low progesterone. Vitamin D deficient. 3 1/2 years and 3 (more) clomid cycle cautiously expecting #2!

Friday, July 9, 2004

Tomorrow I test

Tomorrow I get to buy myself a home pregnancy test to see if I'm pregnant. I'm sort of nervous about it. I don't know what to think honestly. In a way I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant but a part of me longs to be hopeful and think there's a chance I did ovulate.

I don't see why the OB/GYN doesn't want to do a test herself. I really think she believes I didn't ovulate this month so there'd be no need. And maybe she's right. However, I really am wondering if things will work out. I'm hoping the tests give me a correct answer. I don't want a positive result if I'm not, or a negative result if I am. I don't want to risk being pregnant, not knowing and going back on clomid. I wouldn't know what to do if I miscarried. I'd feel so guilty.

In a way, I'm not sure. I feel like I'm going to get my period. I'm getting little cramps. But it feels odd... I don't know how to describe it. Some reason it feels "heavier" down there. Really hard to mention how it feels heavier because I'm not even sure. I just *feel* it. We'll see. Maybe it's just my period trying to say "hey! I'm coming!"

One way to find out... tomorrow, tomorrow.


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