Primary and secondary infertility. Recurrent pregnancy loss. PCOS. Insulin Resistance. Low progesterone. Vitamin D deficient. 3 1/2 years and 3 (more) clomid cycle cautiously expecting #2!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010


I must admit this holiday season I feel a little more like Scrooge. It's 18 days until Christmas and I haven't told my DH what I want for Christmas. Why? I just don't know. I've been going through a "nesting" stage already.. yes, way too soon, but I want to de-clutter! I see no sense in getting more items when we're trying to get rid of items. I'm also feeling blah this season. I know I have no right too, but with me miscarrying at 8 weeks last time I was pregnant I worry I'll do the same again... which mind you, would hit right at Christmas time.

I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I cannot overcome that feeling. This pregnancy is leaving me on edge, which so far is going just fine. I just cannot shake the worry of doom. My mom said I was being too negative and I know that I am... I just haven't known anything but miscarriages the past two years.

Perhaps it's time to get the tree decorated and hang up some lights. Maybe that will help me work my way out of a funk. As for knowing what to ask DH for Christmas? Ah, heck, I still don't know. We've been married nearly 9 years, I was bound to stop having stuff I wanted sometime!


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