Primary and secondary infertility. Recurrent pregnancy loss. PCOS. Insulin Resistance. Low progesterone. Vitamin D deficient. 3 1/2 years and 3 (more) clomid cycle cautiously expecting #2!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Hurting when others hurt

Near the time I found out I was pregnant I had two friends "confide" in me. One told me she was starting to feel my world - infertility. She found out she had endometriosis and had been trying to conceive for a year. She found out how much it hurt every time she ever asked me "Are you pregnant yet?" before my son was conceived and "are you pregnant yet?" years or so after I had. It hurts to hear another person close to me suffers, but nice to know in my circle of friends I was no longer alone. But it hurt.

And during the same time period one of my friends found out she was 5 weeks pregnant and miscarrying. It's heart-aching whether you were trying to conceive or not. I know she knew about my history, and we discussed things which helped... but I know how it can take time to heal. I wonder is it harder to try hard to conceive, get pregnant and miscarry or find out you are but it's not going to last? Both situations are so harsh, and every one copes in different ways. I cannot imagine.

And just today one of the people I know online from my TTC groups (one I started like 1 year ago that she was in from the beginning who took over it after I miscarried last round and made the group run) found out that the baby was measuring behind and her babies heart stopped beating.

I hurt so much for all my friends. Infertility and miscarriages. No one should have to ever deal with these pains. It always kills me to wonder why people who are crappy parents or don't want kids can get pregnant on a dime but others who totally deserve that love get to suffer. It's heartbreaking. I can only pray time heals their wounds and hearts. I pray we all find our happiness.



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