Primary and secondary infertility. Recurrent pregnancy loss. PCOS. Insulin Resistance. Low progesterone. Vitamin D deficient. 3 1/2 years and 3 (more) clomid cycle cautiously expecting #2!

Friday, October 22, 2010

I hate this feeling...

When I woke up this morning I felt hopeful. I woke up from a dream which I saw a BFP pregnancy test, then it all seemed to flash before my eyes. I don't remember much but I think I was given a glimpse of pregnancy and everything else. That's how quickly it went, but the part that really stuck out was the BFP.

I was hoping this morning it was a good sign when I took a pregnancy test. BFN. Figures. I'm now mad at my dreams and feeling let down. I know 12 dpo is still early, I know my temps aren't going down yet which is a good sign. But still I have this fear in 2-3 days I'll be greeting AF again.

I really don't get it. Why have I been feeling nauseous? I don't normally feel like I really wish I could puke unless I'm pregnant. Why would I feel so hot all the time, no matter the temperature? Why would I feel like this for nothing? I feel like the world is against me. All I'm asking is for a sibling for my son, is that so hard to ask for? I know they say things happen for a reason, but why infertility? Why can someone who doesn't deserve to be pregnant have kids? Why do couples who totally deserve them cannot have them? This universe is backwards.

Done venting.. for now. Just wait until AF hits. LOL.


Glass Case of Emotion said...

Still good signs all of them, and 12 dpo is way way way too early. I've been pregnant 3 times and never had a + that early, even with symptoms. Good luck!

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