Glad to be home

I honestly must say, even though I loved visiting my hometown I'm glad to be home. It's great seeing friends and family but in a way it's also tiresome. The drive, scheduling time for every one, making sure not to forget anything, etc etc. It can take a lot out of someone!

I'm glad to be able to relax at home, but at the same time now there is a lot on my my mind. On vacation you try to think less of your infertility and pregnancy losses and more on having fun. Okay, I admit I did think about it. I did check my cervical fluid (which showed me being fertile like three times during our vacation), I did weep over pregnant people and newborn babies, and I did sputter to some friends about my difficulties and my heartache. I admit the vacation wasn't always fun for that reason.

So what's in store for us? I really don't know - I still haven't had a period since my miscarriage so I haven't been able to get the HSG done. I guess I'll be starting to chart soon to make sure I didn't ovulate, but the pregnancy test I took today said BFN which doesn't surprise me. So the next few days will be getting back into the routine of checking my temperature before I get up. Fun, huh?

I wish I knew what to do next. I feel like we're at a standstill right now and I don't know which way to go. I'm need a plan... maybe that will make me feel more "in control". If only we really could be in control of our fertility!